May 26, 2013.

Dear, dear Ali,

Every time Sunday rolls around I have an incredible urge to write a very long letter which I will hand to you on the day of your departure. It seemed a little ridiculous to start writing this letter four months prior to your mission, so I waited until the much more sensible time of two months before your mission. Not premature or anything. Haha.

This letter is meant to tell you how great you are. Most of it will be from my perspective, but I know everyone you are friends with holds you in the highest of regards. So here's a history of us:

The most fortunate experience of my high school life was your suggestion that we be roommates, even more fortunate than being prom queen (hard to believe, I know). I was pretty confident we would get along (despite my fear that we would fight), but I had no idea that we were DESTINED to be the most fantastic college roommates. I could not have done freshman year without you. Looking back, I hardly had things to worry about, but navigating the waters of making new friends, having hard classes and adjusting to life away from home was made possible by your friendship. You were so nice to me. (You still are). I was always so excited for you to come home from class and keep me company in our tiny dorm room, or to meet up with you at the Cannon center to eat our daily meals. Everything was so fun and special with you, from seeing how much we could eat at the Cannon center to drawing a map of the world during General Conference. You are so non-judgmental and loving. I never felt self-conscious about anything with you. I can't imagine being uncomfortable about anything with you. I can go on and on about an illicit crush on my married writing professor or rave about Ben Snow's soothing voice and I know all that will come from you is delight in listening. So freshman year, you got me settled into college life. I could have been a drop-out if it weren't for you. I would still probably be at Iceberg.

In this letter I would just like to make a note of our epic  road trip at the end of the year. I don't think two other people could have had such a great time. I am so jealous of all your mission companions that get to live with you 24/7!

Sophomore year you worked hard at Brick Oven and earned so many hustle bucks! And took us out to eat. And won lots of writing awards. That's another thing about you. You are so freaking smart. Genius, I would say. I feel like a mother bragging about her child when I tell people about my roommate, Ali. Seriously, I live with a real, live genius. Apart from being an excellent writer, editor and thinker, you do everything so well. You plan things so well; I notice things always go smoothly when you are in charge. Your parties are a smashing success. You are good at making cakes and delicious food. You are crafty; those missionary tights presents are adorable, and you aren't even that girly. You show up all those girls who went through scrapbooking fads growing up. (Unless you were one of them, that's cool too). You know so many things about history, movies, books, people. You are so interesting. I will never get tired of talking to you. I have this fear that I will never fall in love because I'll make everyone of my boyfriends fall in love with you. Curses.

So sophomore year was rather boring. We both acknowledge that we had less than fun social lives. Hanging out with you was always great. We attended black history month dances and Martin Luther King Jr. day.

Onto junior year. I am so happy to be your roommate again. Ali, I just can't tell you what a lovely person you are. You are never in a bad mood, even when you wake up. You are so kind to others. You understand when people are talking to you, whether it be about school, English things, the world, or feelings. I can feel really troubled and worried about something and I know just talking to you will sort things out in my mind. You see things so clearly when I see them so muddled. You articulate everything I could never express, but want so badly for someone to understand. Even talking to you about math homework helps me solve problems. I don't know how you do that. I am going to miss that the most when you are gone; your unconditional listening. And when I talk to you, I feel like you really want to listen to me. Like I'm doing you a favor by telling you all my problems. And I would  like to note that I feel like you are as  much in my life as you were before you had a boyfriend, and I really appreciate that. Some people drop off the face of the planet, but I've never felt like you haven't had time to hang out with me because of Derek. You are awesome. I'm afraid to have someone leave who makes me feel so special, because you'll take some of my self-esteem with you.

I want you to know you are an amazing person. I know I joke about (although sometimes I'm half serious) about not wanting you to leave on your mission. But the truth is I really admire your decision. A mission is a selfless act of service and you have to think God and Christ are more important than things like school and money. Your decision shows a lot about the kind of person you are; dedicated, devout and Christ-like. I know I am lax about my spirituality; you have been a great example to me about saying personal prayers, having daily scripture study and pondering things about the gospel. I think you life has a lot of meaning because of those things. Thanks so much for being my best friend and my roommate. You will do a great job, Sister Maeser. The people of Florida are so lucky.

So I'm coming back to  this letter almost two months later. You have a week and a half until you go on your mission! And I will miss you so much. Reading this letter, I'm dissatisfied with all the things it doesn't say. There isn't a way I could tell you how grateful I am for your friendship unless I talk to you about it and then you manage to say exactly what I was thinking. But then that would defeat the point of writing you this secret letter. But Ali, you're great! You encompass everything good and true and comforting. (A little Ernest Hemingway language there, no?) I just love you so much. Living in an apartment with you makes me feel right at home. "Home is where the Ali is, " I always say. I feel exactly the same way I do about you as I do my brothers--that same kind of love. Basically, you are my sister.

And now you go on your mission in two days. I love you!

Thanks, thanks and thanks again.

Love,

Carla

Little tidbits I want to remind you about, but don't have particularly anything to say about:

• My economic analysis of why we didn't have friends during a period of freshman year.
• The journal game
• Sharing a twin bed with you all sophomore year. Haha.
• Latino Americano festival!
• DI shopping trips.
• Historical hunks
• Megabed freshman year.
• Simon and Garfunkel Halloween.
• Cooking things together, like fajitas, breakfast and pita sandwiches.
• Donating plasma and how you were terrible at it. Poor Ali.
• Boysenberry Cheesecake shakes
• Concerts in the park no one would come to but us
• Titanic
• The Beatles

Austin  must make us look good. The rest of these pictures are... um, less than flattering for both of us. Haha.