Tuesday, January 31, 2012

A Poem I Wrote and Determined Would Be Appropriate to Share in this Arena

Perhaps you, in all the mornings
of all your life, together
Have spent more hours on your hair
Than Botticelli spent on all the
red gold tendrils
that crest the head of Venus
as she’s born.

Seurat, with every calculated
point he paints could not
have known
like your mother knows
how it is to worry, Is this girl turning out right?
Will she need an umbrella here today? The sun is bright.

And how strange, stranger—
That I could not pass that canvas on a wall
without falling to my knees,
or wanting to.
While you I pass with glance steadfastly fixed
upon my shoes. 

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I would have liked to know this man.


F. Scott Fitzgerald's advice recorded in a letter to his 11-year-old daughter, Scottie.

(Source: F. Scott Fitzgerald: A Life in Letters; Image: F. Scott Fitzgerald with his daughter, Scottie, in 1924.)

Things to worry about:

Worry about courage
Worry about cleanliness
Worry about efficiency
Worry about horsemanship

Things not to worry about: 

Don’t worry about popular opinion
Don’t worry about dolls
Don’t worry about the past
Don’t worry about the future
Don’t worry about growing up
Don’t worry about anybody getting ahead of you
Don’t worry about triumph
Don’t worry about failure unless it comes through your own fault
Don’t worry about mosquitoes
Don’t worry about flies
Don’t worry about insects in general
Don’t worry about parents
Don’t worry about boys
Don’t worry about disappointments
Don’t worry about pleasures
Don’t worry about satisfactions

Things to think about: 

What am I really aiming at?
How good am I really in comparison to my contemporaries in regard to:

(a) Scholarship
(b) Do I really understand about people and am I able to get along with them?
(c) Am I trying to make my body a useful instrument or am I neglecting it?

With dearest love,

Daddy

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Let's talk some more about learning...

Ok. We may be beating the topic of learning, knowledge and education to death, but your last post got me thinking about college and why I am here. I feel like I have reached a point in my college career where I am genuinely excited to be here. I feel like I am using my time well and the fruits of my labor are valuable to me and society. But I truly understand that there are so many other paths besides a university education that would have led me to feel this way. Learning isn't confined to the classroom or institution, but for me, right now, I feel like this is the best way for me to get it. I can say this with confidence, because as a freshman I experienced quite a lot of angst (if it is possible for a eighteen year old freshman who isn't about to start any revolutions to feel angst) because I didn't feel this way. I felt purposeless and disappointed about my college experience. Like you said, I knew how to play the games, but winning wasn't making me feel like I was solidly on the path to intellectual enlightenment. I thought college would blow open the doors to levels of learning I hadn't experienced in high school (when I think about this vision, I imagine huge oak doors of a library opening, light streaming through, and my hair blowing back from the force of the knowledge those open doors exposed to me. Haha. But this really happens to me when I enter the Holladay library, the opening doors makes my hair whoosh back. Maybe my problem with my freshman year was that my expectations were ridiculous. Anyways...). But then Econ saved me! I feel like I have stumbled upon some hidden gem at BYU and anyone who doesn't want to be an Econ major is missing out on something, except for you, of course. I think you are the embodiment of genius.
I have told you that I spend a lot of time in the Econ lab; I work there and I do my homework there. I also just like hanging out there because when it is buzzing and busy I feel like everyone is intellectually on fire. I don't know, it's not just a place to get your homework done, but a place to pick fellow econ majors brains about why interest rates are so low, why in a perfect world supply equals demand and why our world isn't that perfect one. TAs and students team up together to find answers to questions that aren't on their homework but simply just springing from their minds. I love when I meet the TA who relishes in a puzzling question and runs themselves in circles to figure out the answer, just because you asked them about it. To me the Econ lab embodies all the exhilarating upsides to a university education. It helps with the transfer of knowledge and is conducive to the creation of new knowledge. It brings people together who are equally excited about learning (not just in the schooling sense, but in the true educational sense) and ferments discussion topics across a wide spectrum. Students and professors alike mingle in the narrow halls of the architecturally unimpressive Faculty Office Building. True, there are the people who are in their to just get the answers to Problem Set 1, but those people exit as quickly as possible and leave the rest of the cool econ majors behind. I believe that, yes, institutional education has downsides, but that I have found a little pocket where the ideals of a university educations are preserved and the university is performing at its best in bringing together people who are excited about learning.
A quick hit about the Mark Twain quote. That reminds me so much of my dad. Whenever I fretted to him about not having a purpose in college or a major (two very important things to have in college) his simple solution was, "Take hard classes and learn." He wasn't worried about it at all. I guess the idea was that BYU was a tool for me to reach my highest goal of learning and its value came from intellectually engaging yourself as opposed to achieving a sort of intellectual status symbol by declaring a major or getting into a really good program. I've always felt bad for the kids whose parents want them in a "real" major (business, finance, accounting, civil engineering) so they can be guaranteed a "real" job. I'm sure those majors are great and can be to its participants what Econ is to me, but the end is less than the means when you go into them with such a narrow purpose in mind. My dad has been so wonderful of supporting my learning in the ways I see fit. I think he and Jordan would really get along, especially since my dad didn't graduate from college until...I graduated from high school. He didn't think the degree was required to stamp him as knowledgeable, which is true.

So my final question for you is: If learning is so great, why are we so terrible at our simple day jobs (or I guess my night job) of mixing shakes and making pizzas? Haha. Actually, you just got promoted, which I never did, so maybe the question just is, "Why am I so bad at making shakes?"

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Thank You, Carla

Because your most recent post was so thought-provoking, I am going to forgive your complete blog failure up to this point. Indeed, I had never considered the pursuit of knowledge as insurance against the lure of the pursuit of stuff, though the scriptures themselves juxtapose the two similarly. It called to mind the things that, through talking to Jordan about her views on education in the last few weeks, have caused me to seriously reconsider what it means to gain "knowledge."

You may be aware that Jordan is not a fan of college; she dislikes her professors' styles and the structure of most classes, feels that her time would be much better spent somewhere else, and kind of wants to drop out altogether (or at least switch her major to Family & Consumer Science). I, on the other hand, would be mostly content to spend the rest of my life jumping from university to university, accumulating degrees in English, Hebrew, Near Eastern Studies, Political Science, Russian, Women's Studies, Civil Engineering, Pop Culture, etc.--and yet our goals for life are largely the same. We both just want to gain as much knowledge as we can. She, who has been educated at home by her mother, her books, and herself, has grown up believing that she can learn anything she wants to outside of a classroom--and she has! You and I, who have spent fourteen of our nineteen years in the formal educational system, have grown up believing that learning takes place in school--and it has! Each of us knows a lot of stuff, and none is a failure; the difference is, going forward, Jordan believes that her knowledge will be measured on a sort of internal scale and will continue to grow as long as she seeks opportunities to enlarge it, while I plan to measure the things I know by the number of degrees I have or the number of years I spend in school. (The two are not mutually exclusive, of course, but you understand.) And neither of us will be disappointed with the results, because we'll both finish up life much smarter than we began it. Both approaches are effective, but in different ways.

As I understand it, Jordan and her network of "un-school" supporters hold the view that public school is churning out generations of kids that think in the same ways--which of course is not completely true; public-school kids leave the system still vastly different from one another in a variety of ways. But imagine how genuinely dissimilar we would be if we didn't participate in that kind of mandated socialization and systemization. You and I, Carla, enjoy school because we have learned how to play its games; we know what our teachers want and how to get good grades, and so we do, and we're satisfied. But they are just that: games! The ways I have been taught to succeed--and by that I mean "get an A"--as I found out in my initial weeks of employment at Provo's premier pizzeria, are largely useless and inapplicable to many real-world situations. (What a youthfully idealistic sentence I am about to write:) Imagine a world where people grew up defining success for themselves, not by grades but by actual learning. You yourself can attest to the fact that (Italian) grades are often arbitrary reflections of how well you have learned (Italian). Like a true American conservative, Jordan brings up the example of education in the days of the American Revolution, when people could write and understand and act on things like Thomas Paine's "Common Sense;" people of that era were largely educated at home, and came up with some pretty revolutionary stuff. I am certainly a bit wary of making comparisons of that sort, but perhaps she does have a point there. (And that gets off on a whole different set of debates--"Yeah, but every other person was illiterate then;" "If we let all parents homeschool their kids some would never learn anything;"--I know. It's just a mental exercise.) Judging by the types of inspirational movies we like to make, our culture values individuality, bold flouting of the rules and sticking it to the man. But in real life, this is often manifested as, "Hey, even though it might be lame, you can totally like classical music if you want to because you're unique," or "Even though your parents might object, having a nose ring is really cool." No child is told he can be a farmer if he wants to. No one is encouraged to deviate from the norm in any way that might actually really matter.

I say all of this not to contradict the wisdom of Shawn Miller, because I think all of what he said is still true and even accords nicely with my (Jordan's?) point of view. And actually, there is not really a remedy to these perceived societal ills. But there is a whole world of possibilities to ponder outside the established system of learning and thinking. Mark Twain famously said, "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education," and ever since I heard that in eighth grade I have taken it as an exhortation not to let your acquisition of knowledge end when you leave the classroom. But perhaps, I am beginning to see, he meant exactly what he said.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Response to "I'm Beat"

I didn't want to just do this as a comment, in case you never saw it.

While reading your post about the idealism of youth and the materialism of the older generation, I was reminded of this speech given by Shawn Miller (a current history professor at BYU) about learning and knowledge. This, along with two other articles I had to read for my Historian's Craft class motivated me to make that powerpoint presentation of inspirational quotes, which is really cheesy and slightly tacky, but I was so pumped about learning. Haha.

Anyways, I think that there is an antidote to materialism, even when we are forced to be materialistic (buy a house for our family, go on vacations; I guess that is not a requirement, but what I'm getting at is that later in our lives we will probably spend more money than we do now and buy some things at stores besides the DI). Worded eloquently by Shawn Miller:

"Seeking knowledge also can be an effective antidote to worldliness. We invest a great deal in the acquisition of stuff. Companies bombard us with slick, relentless propaganda as to why we must have their stuff, and we judge an individual’s success by their stuff’s sheer quantity and supposed quality."
"But consumption never was creativity. . . . Stuff beyond our basic needs does not liberate . . . . Consider the overall investment of your time. You have to shop for stuff. You have to clean, maintain, and organize stuff. You lose stuff. You look for stuff. You polish stuff, secure it against theft, trip over it, recharge it, upgrade it, accessorize it, pack it, move it, unpack it, insure it, fix it, and eventually sell, trash, or bequeath it. . . . Very much unlike stuff, knowledge has few such liabilities. Knowledge does not depreciate but grows deeper, stronger, and more valuable with each use. Unlike stuff, knowledge has neither mass nor volume and does not take up any space outside the bounds of our cranium. Unlike in the accumulation of stuff, in getting knowledge you will never have to build a three-car garage on the side of your head. Your mind has no upper limit of mega-, giga-, or terabytes. ... Also unlike stuff, knowledge can be given to others without diminishing our stock."


Now don't you feel like making a PowerPoint on that?